I’ve seen recent debate as to whether boss battles in video games are an outdated concept. Personally, I find the idea of bosses becoming an old game standard terrifying — I love bosses. Let’s be honest, you love bosses, otherwise you would likely not have clicked on this. This all said, alongside hard-as-nails bosses and memorably exciting ones, there’s bosses that have been ridiculously easy. Although a few of these have been intentionally anti-climatic, some of them are just too easy for anyone that’s ever played a game before.
So, without further ado, here’s the top 16 easiest video game bosses ever. Like, the kind of easy where if any of these have even got a single hit on you, you should feel ashamed. (Hint: Gohma is probably in this list. Shock, horror.)
Whispy Woods (Kirby’s Dreamland)
Whispy Woods is the most recurring boss of the Kirby series — even more-so than series antagonist King Dedede. Generally used as the first boss in many Kirby games, he’s always incredibly easy to defeat. Like, ‘oh my God I’ve had more difficulty fighting a real-life bonsai tree than this guy’ kind of easy. A stationary boss, all he can do is blow incredibly easy-to-avoid gusts of air at you and drop apples on your head which you can use to kill him with in a few hits.
Heck, in some of the following games you’ll even have your power-absorbing ability so can just spam an absorbed power at him and kill him even quicker. This tree should be truly ashamed of himself.
Papu Papu (Crash Bandicoot)
Papu Papu is the first boss of the original Crash Bandicoot game. The game’s fantastic, but this boss battle is less than so. Oh no, please don’t spin around with your stick at a moderately slow speed! I’m defenseless and weak and — oh yeah, I can just easily jump over that. Well, I’ll just hit you in your face a few times and be off to more genuinely interesting levels then. Call me when you get reasonably good at cart racing and maybe I’ll take you more seriously.
Topmaniac (Super Mario Galaxy)
There are so many easy-as-heck Mario bosses that we could literally fill out this whole list with just Mario bosses, but Super Mario Galaxy’s Topmaniac is definitely up there as one of the better examples. Slowly randomly spinning around the arena, Topmaniac basically poses no threat whatsoever. Beyblades would scare Mario more than this guy.
You know you’ve got a weak boss on your hands when its drones are more of a threat — just jump on the top of Topmaniac three times and hit him in to the electric fence and this overgrown spinning top is done. So easy, even a plumber can do it.
Morton Koopa Jr. (Super Mario World)
Oh wait, perhaps this is actually a better example of an easy Mario boss. The terrifying turtle that is Morton terrifyingly walks towards you at a turtle’s pace as you terrifyingly have to jump on his head three times. Perhaps the only legitimate boss in the world that can be easily defeated within twenty seconds by even the most casual gamer. I wish I had more to say but… yeah, Morton is just that easy.
And the winner of the easiest boss in a video game that somehow remains fun iiiiiis GLaDOS. Although humourous throughout, when it comes down to it this boss battle really holds no challenge whatsoever — which is a shame, considering that some of the puzzles before it could be considered as genuinely smart and complicated by some.
The boss battle basically fully consists of a repeated ‘put this over here’ action that must be performed under six minutes. Unless your friend’s handed you the controller before playing the rest of the game, you’ll be a veteran at this game by now and figure out immediately what you have to do. The dialogue makes up for the disappointing battle, though.
Flash Man (Mega Man 2)
Fun fact: a few years back when I had my regular group of friends at my house, I bet them all £10 that, with infinite attempts, they would not be able to finish any level of Mega Man 2. I won that bet. As well as meaning I need new, less lame friends, this also taught me that they apparently haven’t heard of Google.
It’s good then that I was lucky enough for them not to choose Flash Man’s stage and they instead consistently attempted Wood Man’s, because Flash Man is comparatively easy to the rest of the game. For other Robot Masters in the game, it’s vital to battle them in a specific order so that you can use each gained ability on the next boss, but Flash Man can be easily dispensed with your basic attack before he even has the chance to do anything. You could say that this battle is… over in a flash. *puts on sunglasses*
Lucien Fairfax (Fable II)
Oh God, final boss guys, better gear up. We’ve been waiting our whole lives to exact our revenge against this guy. After a series of sweet boss battles, the game’s been teasing you for this final encounter. With your heart racing, you enter Lucien’s lair to see two levitating bodies and some threats of infinite power, you’d best be prepared for something big…
…because you’re going to have to shoot him once mid-speech, where upon you’ll watch him fall to his death. If you don’t shoot him, one of your party members will do it for you instead. You’ll half expect him to crawl back up as some God-like being for an epic battle, but nope, he’s quite dead. Yay for anti-climaxes!
Cloud N. Candy (Yoshi’s Story)
This sweet looking cloud-cotton-candy monstrosity is only about as dangerous as he looks. Unless Yoshi’s allergic to being healed, I’m pretty sure we’re going to be safe here. All you have to do is lick the guy to shrink him until he’s dead and his only retaliation is to slowly jump around the stage a bit. As if that was heart-wrenchingly difficult enough, every time you lick Cloud N. Candy, he heals you. For God’s sake, he even tells you how to kill him. I know this game’s sweet and charming and primarily aimed at kids, but come on, I was acing Silent Hill at this age and I’m pretty sure anyone can murder cotton candy.
The Leader (The Incredible Hulk, 1994)
Arch-nemesis of the Hulk, The Leader is finally within arm’s reach. Finally, this smart, evil man that you’ve spent the whole of the game hunting down stands before you and all he can be bothered to do is smugly stand there and watch you. Perhaps distracted by a daydream or your bulging green biceps, The Leader literally just stands there unprotected and does nothing. He doesn’t even attempt to do anything, but for some there’s a pick-up on the floor that heals you and makes you temporarily stronger. All you have to do is uppercut the guy once to complete the game and make the credits roll, so why the heck is that even there?
Negative Man (MOTHER 3)
Oh, now some bosses just know that they’re bad. Negative Man keeps to his namesake and spends the whole battle sobbing and whining about how there’s little point in him even trying to fight you as he knows he’ll lose. You almost feel sorta bad fighting this optional boss, but the loot he carries is worth a fair amount so you may as well just punch him in his spongey face until he dies anyway. I mean, that’s probably what he’d want anyway to be honest, right?
A bit ironic really considering the game’s predecessor is often cited as having the scariest boss battle of all-time, though I suppose generally speaking the game is pretty light-hearted so a joke boss wasn’t particularly out of place.
Golem Overlord (Chrono Trigger)
Good RPGs typically have long-winded battles with epic looking bosses that require some degree of strategy and effort. Then there’s Golem Overlord.
Very much like Negative Man, Golem Overlord refuses to attack you after realizing that he’s suffering from a paralyzing fear of heights. After a lifetime of being a floating ugly ball thing, it’s a surprise really that it’s only now that he finds this out. It’s an odd joke boss considering the area looks like it’s set for an epic boss battle and it’s not immediately apparent that the boss has no plans to fight you back. But there we go, that’s the Overlord of the Golems for you folks.
Axel (Kingdom Hearts II)
One of the more memorable characters and boss battles from Kingdom Hearts II is also strangely its easiest. Though this game and this character is definitely a secret love of mine, the battle is as simple as heck for a Kingdom Hearts boss. By this point in the game you’ll be a veteran at it, so you’ll be able to easily defeat Axel with the assistance of dual Keyblades in a matter of minutes without him even getting a hit in — and that’s even discounting Limit Breaks.
So yeah, all you kiddies out there may love your lil’ Axel, but he’s actually a bit lame. Got it memorized?
Lambent Brumak (Gears of War 2)
Serving as the final boss, prepare to test the skills you’ve gained over the course of the game and exercise that index finger of yours, because you’re in for the task of holding down the right trigger button for about thirty seconds and occasionally letting go of it.
I mean really, this guy’s as ugly as (insert humourous comparison here), but he’s really only about as threatening as (insert another humourous comparison here). That is to say that as the game’s climax, this is really a bit lame.
Parasite Queen (Metroid Prime)
A highlight of its genre, Metroid Prime truly is a mastepiece of and FPS. Beginning the game with most of the gear you spend most of the game regaining, the Parasite Queen sort of serves as a tutorial and the game even pinpoints its weak-spot for you. Even for a first-timer though, it can be beaten very easily within thirty seconds without taking any damage and its force-field it hides behind really isn’t a problem whatsoever.
It is the first boss though and is fought very early-on in the game, so it’s really not that big of a deal. On the other hand though, you suck so… so keep that in mind too.
Gohma (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)
Though Link’s Awakening’s Lanmola boss also deserves a mention, who can forget this lovable boss? Although it’d prove more difficult to lose than it is to win against Gohma, for some reason it remains a very memorable boss battle for people. With its very few attacks ridiculously simple to avoid, Gohma just needs to be hit in the eye a couple of times to be beaten and even a child’s slingshot proves to be too much for this ‘parasitic armoured arachnid.’
I mean, come on Gohma, even I can hold up better against a slingshot. Twenty pounds bets I can crawl on the ceiling and get hit by a slingshot without falling off. Gohma’s appearance in WindWaker was equally entertaining but almost as easy.
Mysterio (Spider-Man 2)
Last but certainly not least is the Mysterio boss battle from the surprisingly more-than-decent Spider-Man 2 movie tie-in game. Humorously robbing a small convenience store in a B-movie-esque costume with a similarly themed voice and music playing in the background, Mysterio gives Spider-Man a little speech. You immediately expect the ensuing battle to be pretty simple, but then Mysterio’s health bar racks up with three full bars of health. Suddenly things feel a little more serious.
That is, right until you throw your first punch and the nerd’s fishbowl head is knocked right off of him, causing him to grovel at your Spider-Feet begging not to be hit again. That’s right nerd, grovel at those Spider-Feet! (It’s okay though because his boss battle in the PS1 Spider-Man games was totally kick-ass.)
These are just the tip of the iceberg, so be sure to let us know if you feel we’ve left anything out. Unless it’s Bob the Goldfish, then just don’t.